Joyous Memories, Sad Reflections…

I was scrolling through Facebook this morning, “Getting My News” as I like to call it, and I stopped on what I thought was an update from an old friend of mine on the major surgery she had just a few days back.  Looking forward to a positive hopeful update, I was shocked when instead it was a sad note from her husband, saying my friend had passed away last night.

I’m just speechless…  She was so young, my age in fact, and I just don’t even know what to say…

It breaks my heart, for her, for her husband, for her three kids waiting at home.

We were best friends in Middle School, which faded more to just friends Freshman year, and then I moved to Texas at the end of my Sophomore year in high school and we lost touch.  Thanks to Facebook we found each other just a few years ago, and I’ve enjoyed the pictures of her, her kids, her life.  Her struggle with her illness was an inspiration to many, probably many more than she ever really knew, because I never told her how I admired her ability to stay positive and caring to others even in the face of her own adversity.  And now I hope she can look down on this earth and hear everything I never said, because all of a sudden my mind is filled with “should haves” and it’s just breaking my heart.

She sent me a message last year about this time – a super sweet message that touched my heart:

 

—“I found a bunch of notes over the weekend I was reading , and have many of yours haha , and pics , etc I kept just about every one I think….I was thinking back to how I was new to Middle School in 6th grade ( new meaning I had been in City Schools 3rd-5th ) and how quickly you made me feel liked. I think our lockers we side by side or very close that year …Sometimes its the small things in life that give you such good memories , and not to be cheesy or anything LOL but I wanted to thank you for that , and for being such a good friend when we were young. I wish we would have stayed in touch more. But , really…..I just wanted you to know what that meant to me…

Anyway , let me stop being a sap and turning this into a book…Thank you for accepting me just as I was when we first met.”—

 

I just keep reading that this afternoon and wishing I had done more than just respond.  Of course I wrote her back, but I wish I’d done more to reach out to her besides commenting on Facebook every once in a while.  Now it seems a shame to me that Facebook has taken over the little personal relationships we have and replaced them with something much more sterile.  I should have spent more time telling her what her friendship during those tender years of adolescence meant to me, spent more time asking about her life, learning about her kids and husband.  But I just let Facebook be the extent of the relationship we shared, and now I regret that so much.

Becky, I hope you’re free from pain and that you’ve found peace.  I’ll remember you always and the fond memories we shared growing up, and I’ll make this moment my wake-up-call to appreciate the smaller things in life, and the friends who deserve to know how much they have meant to me over the years.  ❤  May the Lord hold your family in his arms, and give comfort to those who loved you.

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